have you forgive?

so, this entry has been on my head for almost 2-3 weeks already. but i have to wait until the very last day of the year, since this will be the closing entry for year 2010.

basically 2010 was a very colorful year for me. and I would personally call it, the Get-To-Know-Myself-Year. I learnt a lot about myself, about limitations, the good and the bad sides of me, how stubborn i could be, and how sensitive i could be, and a lot more things I thought i was, but i wasn't and vice versa.

it was a great year, with a lot of experience, changes and stuff. it was full of love and drama. u realize people care about you so much, and where or what your life should revolves around. and u realize there's a lot of things u've said but you didn't do. and just as i think i have move out my comfort zone, i discovered another comfort zone i was in, and i thought i was very in control of myself and my response towards things, then i realize there are still things i can't control.

it was nice. it was my self-discovery year. and i have no regrets by the end of the year.

i learnt that the only thing that is permanent is family. they are the people who'll never leave you, and you can always go back to them, no matter what.

okay. the point of this entry ; is to forgive yourself. and everyone else around you.

we all make mistakes, a lot. to ourself and other people. we ask for forgiveness from God, and people. sometimes people forgive, sometimes they don't. i watched this video by brother Nouman Ali Khan, regarding the heaven sandwich, one of the criteria of al-muttaqeen, are those who forgive. we forgive, because we want God's forgiveness, for every single wrongdoings we did. the saying goes, "wise people forgives, but never forgets." if you don't really forget, i guess u're not really forgiving. we forgive, we forget, but we learnt something, so we BE CAREFUL next time. 

okay. we forgive, people forgive us (hopefully), and Allah is The One Who Forgives Again and Again. 

but, have we forgive ourself? so often we live in guilt, because we didn't forgive ourself. so i gained few pounds this year, do i have to punish myself by not eating and exercising until i die? nope. i recognize, i should've have lead a better lifestyle, get myself something new that fits, and lead a better lifestyle. (hopefully). 

for every single thing i did this year, ( i don't wanna call it a mistake, cuz that will hurt people) and get me into trouble, i have finally forgive myself and bake a i-forgive-me-cake. thanks betty crocker, u're the best!

forgive yourself. then only you'll start living. don't live in guilt. it's going to take you down. waaaaay down.

okey. yang lebih penting dari entry di atas, adalah, 

i know i hurt a lot of people this year. and i know a lot of u were disappointed with me, i know i did. I AM REALLY SORRY. mohon maaf dengan sepenuh hati, aku tahu ada ramai yang terluka dengan aku tahun ni, or previous years ke, i am really sorry. dari sekecil-kecil perbuatan kepada sebesar-besarnya. and i'll try my best starting next year to respond better to messages, calls and all other types of communication media. and kepada yang ada rasa terabaikan, or terguris by anything i did, i am really sorry, so please forgive me. by the time i wrote this, i have no grudge against anyone, so i was hoping the same way goes to u.

forgive, then only u'll live.

it'll be difficult, but i promise u it'll be worth it.

difficulties.

okey. agak lama ye saye tidak ber-entry soal-soal hati dan perasaan. eh sejak bila pulak kan!

takdelah. rasa kurang ekspresi pulak kat blog sendiri... nak cakap sebenarnya.. pernah tak kau rasa macam life kau miserable, and u're such a mess and all... rasa macam tak best gila.. nak study pun kena bertapa dulu amik mood. cari every single thing that can motivate u to study mcm gambar parents or gambar kasut yang abg you janji nak hadiahkan kalau result ok, (wth????) pernah? tak pernah? okey, kalau pernah, aku rasa it's time that we realize, bukan kita je yg rasa macam tu. there's someone out there yang turut gudah gulana jugak, for whatsoever reason. (aku tgh memotivasikan diri sendiri ni sebenarnya)

setiap orang sebenarnya ada difficulty yg perlu ditempuhi masing-masing. mungkin stress with carry mark ke... bad break up ke... kucing mati ke... duit takde ke... bergaduh dengan kawan ke... berebut harta ke...allergic sejuk ke... nervous nak amik result pmr ke... kombinasi mana-mana dua yang dinyatakan ke... we all have difficulties. and what makes it so burdening adalah the fact that kita rasa kita je yang susah. orang lain happy je tengok. tak. semua orang ada kesusahannya sendiri. mungkin bukan sekarang. mungkin kita tak nampak. we're not alone. we're all in this together (oh, sounds so familiar).

jadi. jalan penyelesaiannya senang saja. try as much as you can untuk tidak menjadi difficulty kepada org lain. dan marilah kita sama-sama mendoakan each other that Allah will grant us strength and patience nak menempuhi semua ni. hopefully kita semua akan berjaya mengatasi apa jugak difficulty tersebut. wahhh.. murni sungguh entry ye semenjak mengikuti drama bersiri "Ayoub" ni.. hihihihi.

ok, stay positive. smile. jangan banyak tidur cam penulis entry ni. tido byk pun letih weh.

akhir kata, apapun yang sedang menghantui minda anda, semoga Allah beri ketenangan yah =) apapun kesusahan yang anda hadapi, semoga Allah berikan kemudahan =

petua berinai part II

okey... i have few posts already in my head, in my head je lah kan... tak tertaip2... internet mcm slow jadi susah la nak update blog. (tipu. tipu. alasan seme tu). sempena pagi ni busy, tak de mase nak taip panjang2 i'm posting tips berinai which i learnt from our neighbor... tips berinai ni waaaaay different than what i'm used to, dan sgt terkedu lah masa dia citer n buat ni kan. tp, mmg berkesan.

it all depends on the type of inai u use. the best would be henna saudi/emirati. so, kirim2 lah kalau ada kawan-kawan yang pergi tu. u can buy locally, kalau in irbid, c-town pun ada. tp becareful sebab byk jugak yg jual inai tipu. the one in c-town works just fine =)

ok, the secret lies within mixing the henna.

bahan-bahan.

karkade - (hibiscus petals tea).

uncang teh

maramia jika ada.

laban (plain yoghurt).

DO NOT USE plain water. bak kata neighbor i tu, haraaaaam may, 3la fadi. (jgn ko letak air, sia-sia je nnt).

so, rebus hibiscus tea tu, dalam segenggam, with air dalam 2-3 cups. sampai kuar warna merah tu. pekat2.. then sejukkan. u can use 2-3 kali hibiscus tea tu kalau nak tambah air. untuk minum, (biasa kita bancuh pink perlahan gila je.) 

1 cup hot water utk 1 bag uncang teh..

1 cup hot water utk beberapa batang daun maramia (hoi, melampau betul teruk penjodoh bilangan kau)

3-4 spoon plain yoghur for acidity -> i have no idea apa kena mengena acid dalam ini cerita.

approx. 250gm henna saudi.

sejukkan air-air ni semua, then  bancuh inai. kalau keras sangat, buat lg air karkade (hibiscus tea) tu dan tambah sampai mencapai konsistensi yang diinginkan. kalau nak letak kat tangan buat keras sikit, kalau nak letak kat rambut, buat cair sikit. jangan cair sangat, meleleh kang susah.

biar semalaman. THE NEXT DAY baru apply ye kawan-kawan.. bawak bersabar, i know u're excited. haha. then bolehlah pakai... utk dark hair, repeat usage dalam 2-3 kali. bancuhan tu boleh simpan dalam peti ais, bukan freezer, bukan luar peti ais okey.

selamat mencuba =)

for irbid people : all ingredients are available in c-town. nak jugak promote ye dak.