threat : to educate or to create an ideal environment

I have been working on this post for few days but I still can't get a way to put it out nicely. This is the best I can do. For now.

Personally, I think the way students are handled in islamic schools are ridiculous. Allow me to provide you with some example.

Larangan mendengar radio selain IKIM.FM dan memasang lagu selain bergenre nasyid.

Seriously? I remember masa dalam satu usrah wajib di sebuah institusi pengajian tertiari di Malaysia, my naqibah bagi contoh benda yang kita kena tegur kawan kita ialah "contohnya, kawan kita dengar radio ERA". What is so wrong about dengar radio selain nasyid? Masa sekolah pun, in my school you can only play nasyid - I got nauseous setiap kali they put In-Team song on. I wish I could tell you how anti-nasyid I was in school. The only nasyid I can tolerate at that time was Raihan and Saujana. Others were too disturbing. Come on, I can name you few other songs of other genre that has better messages than C.U.D.I.P.T, insan bernama kekasih yada yada yada.

The thing is, you can do that but then comes weekend when we can go home and do whatever we want. Dalam kereta, naik je terus tukar Hitz.FM. So, what's the point?

I went to girl school, so we get all the privacy and freedom we need in the school. But at that particular institution, the girls have to buy their food from the canteen's back door. That is just too unacceptable. Adakah budak-budak dekat situ too vulnerable that they can't even handle to be in the same room with the opposing gender to buy food? Then what happens during the pasar malam? Boleh pulak nak berjual beli dekat same stall sebelah-sebelah berdiri tunggu order?

So what message are we trying to convey?

Bagi saya, orang yang buat peraturan macam ni, hanya fikir masa pendek. Berapa ramai budak keluaran sekolah agama yang pakai tudung labuh dalam sekolah, balik hujung minggu pakai tudung pendek. I didn't get to be consistent with my tudung labuh as well. Betul, bila kita pakai tutup aurat, kita rasa sangat secure dan selesa, tapi bukan semua orang mampu rasa macam tu. Some people need explanation of why do they have to do so. In my school, tudung standard mesti bawah siku, in that institution tudung mesti sampai pergelangan tangan from lateral view.

Majalah dan surat khabar went through penapisan, no internet, laptops not allowed. That was in year 2007. So if we want to use friendster masa tu, we have to go outing la. (even my high school allowed friendster! lol). Ingat dia balik rumah dia tak boleh bukak ke?

I am sorry if I offend anyone with this entry, but I need to make it a point - THAT is not how we deal with threats.

We educate. We teach them how to choose. Tidak dengar benda lagha disebabkan tak dibenarkan, dengan tak dengar benda lagha because you choose not to - is a huge different. Tak mencuri sebab takutkan Allah berbeza dengan tak mencuri sebab tak ada peluang mencuri. Tak couple sebab tak ada orang ajak couple berbeza dengan tak couple meskipun ramai yang masuk line. Jangan rasa kita sempurna, padahal ujian belum datang pada kita.

Berilah kefahaman. Tutup aurat itu sempurnanya bagaimana. Begini setidak-tidaknya, tapi yang lebih baiknya begini. And we let them choose. Kalau tidak, kita akan menghasilkan produk-produk bertudung labuh kerana peraturan sekolah/kolej tapi bukan dengan ikhlas, rela hati sebagai ibadah. Rugi?

Didiklah orang supaya professional dalam berurusan, bukan lari seberang jalan bila nampak lelaki Melayu tapi lebih flirtatious dari biasa bila berada dengan lelaki bukan Melayu. Macam budak Taayah tak bercakap dengan budak Izzudin, tapi kalau budak sekolah harian, budak STAR, budak St Michael, tak apa. haha.

Jangan ambil jalan singkat. Kesannya nanti - cultural shock yang tak terbendung. Mulalah semua nak merasa sebab masa dulu tak boleh semuanya. Bukan semua orang akan terdidik dengan cara macam tu. Ramainya perlu pada kefahaman. Hentikanlah melahirkan produk yang tidak berjiwa dalam perlakuannya.

facebook eyesore : The "I'm single" Parade

Hello lovely people :-)

Sebelum ni I dah membebel pasal iklan-iklan nikah muda di facebook. Which is, really annoying - orang tengah sibuk pasal pilihanraya Mesir, kezaliman di Syria dan tidak dilupakan saudara di Palestin - dia sibuk ke situ pulak kan..

Lagi satu facebook eyesore sekarang ni orang yang nak declare ke-single-an diri masing-masing.. I ni memang conservative, abah I cakap.. Orang dulu-dulu merisik, pergi rumah jiran tanya, anak orang tu dah ada yang punya ke belum. Anak daranya bangun pagi ke, basuh pinggan berbunyi kelentang kelentung ke.. Tu yang mak I cukup pantang kalau basuh pinggan bunyi kelentang kelentung... So, lain kali pakai pinggan plastik je lah senang kan.. Kalau memasak pun jangan nak berdentam dentum sangat sudip dengan kuali, bukan kerja restoran char kuey tiau pun nak ting tang ting tang.. Kalau menyambal, lesung batunya biar berlapik dengan kain - rosak tiles pulak kan kalau tak lapik, bunyi pun boleh menganggu gugat ketenteraman jiran...

TETAPI, zaman sekarang ni, apa susah nak merisik, tengok je kan dekat profile Facebook masing-masing.. Single ke, In A Relationship ke, Divorced ke, It's Complicated ke... I always thought putting your status as "Single" seems so tacky and inappropriate. Macam nak market pulak kan. Tapi takpe, sebab fb masing-masing, up to your own preference.. TAPI....

Yang paling tak tahan sekali kalau orang yang, meroyan je dekat Fb berkenaan ke-single-an nya.. Ya rabbi... Ada dua jenis kumpulan I'm Single parade ni.. Satu ala-ala muslimah gitu kan, post-post pasal pengharapan nak dapat suami soleh, cari the missing rib lah... My advice, I don't think la lelaki yang betul-betul soleh nak perempuan yang kerjanya facebook je 24/7.. and sebenarnya what do you really expect from others? To notice that you're single and take some action so you won't be single anymore?

Don't you think you're a lot more interesting by being mysterious?

Jenis lagi satu, jenis bertabah.. Post dia biasanya quotes berkenaan it's ok being single. Better be single and happy than being in a relationship but lonely, yada yada yada.. Bertabah tentang being single but bila ada orang kata kesiannya you, dia cakap, "yela...manade orang nak kat I..." pastu orang tu cakap, "alaa... I kan ade".. jeng jeng jeng.. Sleek strategy! Yang tak bertabah pun ada, memang buat post sayu je pasal dirinya yang single itu.. Ha, itu takpe..terus je I rase nak tolong matchmake kan...

Ok la, I bukan nak bash orang pun... Cuma nak share my P.O.V as a girl to another girl... Kita ni orang perempuan, ada harga diri... Tak appropriate rasanya kalau perihal diri kita ni terlalu diketahui umum. Jadi, berpada-pada lah dalam menggunakan social network ni.. Biarlah lelaki yang nak mendapatkan kita tu ada effortnya sedikit, bukan setakat duduk depan laptop klik-klik, do some potential-wife-browsing on facebook je.. Your availability should be exclusive.. Not like anything on ebay - available, out of stock..

Just my two-cents.

muhasabah : how the internet ruins your future with your past

you see, the problem with our people is that they are not that forgiving. they forget your kindness and good deed, but they remember your sin forever. Which is why, you should not, one, share your sin on your facebook profile, two, share other people's sin. 

you could repent, and God might have forgiven you, but people around you, unfortunately LOVE to talk about your past. and Malays, we don't do well with accepting that people changed - it's either you're prententious or you're up to something. why why why???

when you see someone good, people will come up to you and say, "tapi dia tu dulu...". dulu is dulu la...sekarang bukak buku baru. dosa dia dengan Tuhan, bukan urusan kita nak masuk campur. mudah-mudahan taubatnya Allah terima, dia bersih macam baby baru lahir. kita?

kadang-kadang takut kan mengenangkan habit suka bercakap pasal orang. I honestly think it's very difficult to have self-control, but kita sama-sama cuba, inshaAllah... yang penting, kita jangan biasakan bukak aib orang, kita kenangkan je la yang "Kalau kita tutup aib orang, Allah tutup aib kita". and I believe, we all have the need for that. for Allah to cover our wrongdoing and stuff.

anyhow, alhamdulillah, because more and more people are accepting the fact that people DO change for better. so, kesimpulannya, kita jangan buka ruang untuk orang sebarkan aib kita, kita pun tak perlu buka aib orang.. ada orang, suka share dosa di facebook - i swear i've encountered a few - no need! kita bukan macam agama yang kena buat pengakuan depan orang lain, baru Allah terima taubat kita. you go direct to Him la.. i don't have to know about your sin, orang lain pun tak perlu tahu.

pernah tak kita fikir, benda-benda kita post kat facebook, satu hari nanti bila kita patah balik, kita menyesal that those thing even go up on our facebook page... sebab tu, always THINK before you post. and kalau benda-benda tunjuk dosa orang tu, tak payah rajin sangat nak share.. esok-esok orang tu bertaubat, kesian dia sebab kita dah jaja cerita dia, and we both agree kan orang kita ni doesn't forgive and forget.