outspoken???

i'm an outspoken person, and i take that as one of my best quality. i don't hesitate to express what i feel - uhm, i mean, to some extend. i thank mama and abah for that. cuz definitely they encourages this quality, but i think i'm the MOST outspoken in the family and could be a pain in the-you-know-where at times.

i speak up for only two reasons, #1- something is annoying me #2- because i care for a particular person. well, too bad i just realized, i only speak up to people whom i think i can be outspoken with. basically family, friends, i mean close friends - u know, people i really care about. and lately, i recalled some of my "outspoken" moments with mama, and i think i was being quite harsh at expressing my thoughts, well i was young back then!

i love the tagline from yasmin ahmad's gubra (dont ask, i really love the movie) "why do we hurt the most, the ones we love the most?" i guess, i just realized that this is exactly what i'm doing. sometimes being outspoken hurts people around you. (i promise i wont be so hard on you people next time) well, since that we hardly spend time together, so i have less thing to be expressive with. but kakak if u're reading this and u ever felt i AM too harsh on you, i'm terribly sorry. wink wink.

so, the question is, WHY?

why do we hurt the most, the ones we love the most. here's the one million dollar answer : we're taking them for granted. enough said. i thought i never take my loved ones for granted, but i guess there are things that I overlooked at sometimes. we feel like, we can hurt the people who loves us, simply because, we assume they wont leave us, and we assume they will always be there when we need them. we assume that they will still be there tomorrow. hah! tomorrow might never come!

so, if u're like me, hurting people u love, by any means - take a second to reflect. i dont want my loved ones remembering me as a person who hurts them the most in return of an undying love. (okeh, saye terlalu beremosi pule)

and if I ever hurt anybody, (which i know i had) i'm deeply sorry. and if i have never been honest with you, it's either u're too perfect or i just dont care about you, ouch!- i'm even more sorry for that. I hope i could care more next time.