Sunday, January 25, 2015

Housemanship, With LOVE

Finally... I decided to put it up on my blog. This post have been long overdue, I could say I'm too tired to post, too busy, I have better things to do and all other available reasons, but mainly because I don't know how and where to begin with. 

It has been 5 weeks for me in Pediatric department. How time flies! I tagged for 3 weeks, and have been a functional houseman for two weeks now. Long story short, within the first month, I have found myself considering quitting, offered permission to quit by my mother and decided not to quit, instead I now find myself considering Paeds as an option to be ventured further after finishing housemanship. I know what you're thinking; crazy right?

Housemanship, with love.

After a week of tagging, I was bestowed the opportunity to meet and greet our HOD, who turns out to be such a humble and inspiring person. 

Of all the wisdom he passed on to us on that evening, I am most affected when he said "God loves everybody". The discussion went on about how we should love those who hurt and wronged us too, because no matter what they did, God loves them and who are we to hate somebody whom God loves. 

He also told us that the best way to approach our colleagues who went MIA - missing in action - is to ajak them go for makan. Because food brings people together, helps people to open up a bit more to you. Amazingly, makan is also the way to build teamwork. So if you're a houseman, and reading this, you should initiate lah this makan-makan agenda.

Amazingly, after few weeks of struggle early on, I now can actually picture myself enjoying Paeds rotation. I even requested for a mentor to optimize my training process. I realized that you can choose what you want out of your training, whether you want to learn as much as possible to equip you to survive out there, or you can just follow what everybody is doing and pass the rotation and end up mismanaging your future patients.

I am not an excellent student in med school, so it is only natural that I have to work extra hard these days. My reference is Paeds protocol, and Mary Rudolph. I find the Mary Rudolph textbook very easy to understand and puts me at ease. You know lah, some  text book makes you pening-pening lalat and serabut kan... Mary Rudolph dengar nama pun macam ahhh soothing nya... Baca pun senang terlelap.. hihi.. 

Support System

I cannot stress more on the importance of having a good support system during housemanship. My support system involves the whole household. Abah is in-charge of my transportation for the first month until I have the confidence to drive to work recently. Mama provided me with the emotional support lah obviously, she would come along with abah to pick me up from work late at night during my tagging period and listening to all my jibber jabber and giving me advice. Every morning, I get to salam both my parents - which is something you would appreciate after being away from them for 7 years and tell them to make doa for me. I strong believed their doa is a huge portion of making this possible. I am thankful for each and every person- family, the significant other and my friends who showered me with their love and support through out the journey so far.

Toxic Working Environment?

The only thing I want to say regarding this matter is that sadly, it is the housemen themselves creating this toxic working environment. By thinking only about their asses, wanting to pass the rotation, and just that. Refusing to take responsibility because takut buat salah, kena marah and got extension. If everybody accepts that it is okay to make mistake and learn from it, working would be much better experience for everyone. The long working hours, workload is not so much of a problem. But rather the attitude of your co-worker is the one that kills your passion in medicine.

What makes a good houseman, good?

I owe this to a senior houseman.

" A good houseman is the one who thinks. Who offered his/her plan to the MO when they ask something, instead of just waiting for the MO's plan."

so now you know lah.

The day my mother told me it is okay for me to quit medicine was the day I realized I really am doing this for nobody but myself. I finally understood why some people decided to quit medicine - and they are not doing anything wrong. It is better for you to do something you love, for you and not for any other reason because housemanship is harder than med school definitely, and if you don't have a good "WHY" you may find it difficult to endure.

Ok lah. That's all for now. See you soon with my NNJ 101 project . :-)