I remember when I first started clinical year. I was so excited about my white coat. My parents potong kain putih uniform misi and tempah dua pasang for me - which turned out to be disaster and unsalvageable - my mom tried to fix it but like I said, it was unsalvageable.
Then I started housemanship. I have one baggy, oversized, off-white coat from my days as a medical student and I bought another new pair. I don't even use them as in Paeds department, white coats are source of infection. Now that I'm in a new department, I were to wear white coats on daily basis, so I just alternately use those two pairs. I know my baggy, oversized white coat makes me look like a joke. But I just don't have the heart to buy another.
Or maybe, I just don't have the heart to continue.
I just don't.
Let's just say the happyhouseman is not so happy anymore. Months passed by. After further self-discovering thoughts and settling down in this new department, one day I figured, it's time for a new white coat.
It's not just a new white coat.
It's my newly-found determination to finish this journey.
I guess after this, when things seem impossible and weary ...
... I'll just ...
.. buy a new white coat.