Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Homosexuality: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Disclaimer : writing this doesn't make me homosexual in any perspective available. I'm trying to share my opinion and suggest some improvisation for our society. Thank you.

So let us begin with what is homosexuality?

Homosexuality is romantic or sexual attraction or behavior between members of the same sex or gender. As a sexual orientation, homosexuality refers to "an enduring pattern of or disposition to experience sexual, affectional, or romantic attractions" primarily or exclusively to people of the same sex; "it also refers to an individual's sense of personal and social identity based on those attractions, behaviors expressing them, and membership in a community of others who share them

Is homosexuality a choice?

Based on this video, we're saying that homosexuality is NOT A A CHOICE. Ok now, here's where the real discussion should begin. Is it really not a choice? Researches had associated a person's sexual orientation with  genes, prenatal hormones and brain structure. (source)  So we encounter people who claims God has created us this way, it is not our fault, and we don't become homosexuals because we choose to. No you didn't darling, you didn't choose to be homosexual, instead, you wanted to be. Now you're starting to hate me for saying that.

Because, it was said that "no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles; most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation." source.

Homosexuality and Islam.

Is it sinful to have feelings for a person of your same gender? Nope. Feelings is not something you're responsible for. You don't get to choose whom you fall in love with, but you get to choose how you conduct your feeling. Having feelings for people of your same gender does not make a person such a weirdo, it makes you human. Take it as a challenge, this is God's way of testing your iman. You CURB your desire. You don't nourish your feelings and let it overtakes you. You are the driver of your life, you choose what you want to do. You can choose either to pursue your feelings or go the other way around.

It's not the feelings that is sinful, it's the way you conduct it. If you're a homosexual, I suggest don't get alone with an attractive man/woman, always be in the company of others, don't get involved in deep / personal discussions with any person that you may think will trigger your homosexual feeling. Stay away from any other people who have similar feelings. Don't even think in such an idea of this subject, keep yourself busy in different useful thing, and stay away of anything that remind you of homosexuality. Keep a POSITIVE thinking in your mind and keep saying to yourself that you can do something about it. Don't ever say I can't. Remember with every step you are taking toward getting rid of this habit you are getting help and reward from Allah (S.W.T) and you are annoying the shaytan. Not doing something you can do, for fear of Allah, you'll be rewarded. -source-

What had we done wrong as society?

We become haters. We call them fags, sutun, kepit and what not. We think our hatred are making them weaker, no we're wrong. We help them grew stronger. We triggered them to stick together because they had become so vulnerable. I'm not saying we should welcome them with arms wide open. But we should provide them with support-system to help them with the issue. They won't recover, because they're not sick. But they will triumph because this is their battle. We help them CURB their feelings. We have association that help drug addicts, ibu muda and so on, but the homosexuals? We gave them condoms and remind them to use it so they don't catch AIDS. Ironic.

Prevention is better than cure

A child don't become homosexual overnight, it's a build up process that might take years to complete. The problem is that during the process no one was there to guide them the right way. Our kids get their information from the internet, and hardly people will google for "Homosexuality and Islam". So, all they are going to find are sites that tell them that it is OK to be different.

Rainbow and unicorn would never appear harmful or even wrong to these kids. Had we have a better system in a family, where discussion with parents are a little bit more eased, we might be able to prevent a kid from choosing the 'colorful' paths. Tell those kids, "Your feelings is not wrong, but it's not permissible in Islam, this is a challenge for you from Allah and we'll help you get through this test." But what usually happens, parents would freak out, kick those kids out from home, putus saudara and so on. Then the viscous cycle started where they start to find people who understands them and treat them nice. And family is no longer providing them with that.

Don't get me wrong, I just think if we understand them a little bit more, they might actually open up to us and accept the help we're offering. Don't judge. Don't put label on them. Help them instead.

Just my 2 cents.

and again I'm not homosexual or anyway near it.

1 comment:

mickey said...

very thoughtful. thank you for writing this and made me realize that there's actually somebody who try to understand this problem instead of mocking and blaming.

i very much appreciate your '2 cents.'

I believe that it's ok to have this kind of feelings as long as we don't act upon it.

it's been an exhausting frustrating journey only to suppress this feeling and will only be more and more exhausting with pressures and strains from the community.